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Epson Duet Projector Screen Does 4:3 and 16:9!!

Posted by John A. Facade on 18 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Tech, Video Games

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My friends are talking about the stunning 2.35:1 video format and it reminded me of this cool projector screen we haven’t covered before. It’s the Epson’s Duet, and instead of a vertical scrolling screen, it unfolds side to side, expanding from a 4:3 ratio’d 65-inch screen to a 16:9 screen that measures 80-inches from corner to corner. Neat. It also happens to work as a wall mounted solution. I haven’t had any first hand experience with this screen yet — I don’t mind using a white wall — but I hear it’s sweet. The only problem is that without a rigid top frame, the projector can sag in the middle. You know, like a volleyball net after one too many sloppy spikes. At $199, I can live with that.

Microsoft Announces Pricing for all Three Editions of Halo 3

Posted by John A. Facade on 16 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Video Games

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It seems like every couple of weeks we get some news byte that fuels the Halo 3 anticipation fire. Well today, that news item is the pricing for the Standard, Limited, and Legendary editions of the game:

Legendary Edition — $129.99

  • Comes packaged in a collectible Spartan helmet case
  • Bonus disk one: HD “making of Halo 3” documentary, various behind-the-scenes videos, and an audio-video calibration tool
  • Bonus disk two: remastered cinematics from the first two Halo games with developer commentary and content from Red vs. Blue and This Spartan Life
  • Illuminating collection of original storyboard art

Limited Edition — $69.99

  • Comes packaged in a metal case
  • Bonus disk one (same one as the bonus disk from the Legendary Edition)
  • Halo fiction and art book

Standard Edition — $59.99

  • Comes packaged in a regular Xbox 360 game case with Halo 3 inside

If you happen to be one of the cheap bastards that buy the Standard Edition, you simply will not be able to sit with us at lunch.

More Scientists Claim That Cell Phones Damage Your Sperm

Posted by John A. Facade on 14 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Gadgets, Guy Stuff

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Bad news for the breeders among us: There are studies out there that point towards cell phones as a new cause of infertility and impaired sperm. A new report by Cleveland Clinic researchers adds to the evidence and has some bad news for us gadget junkies:

“Those men who used a cell phone for more than 4 hours per day had the biggest decrease in properties in sperm especially the count, quality, and quantity of the sperm. They are significantly impaired in these men.”

Time to line your pockets with lead or spring for a belt clip for your gadgets. We can’t let the lesser of the species be the only ones to reproduce.

Spanish Supreme Court Likes Porn

Posted by John A. Facade on 12 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Porn, Guy Stuff

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North American society works in wondrous ways. It seems we all love to keep a busy schedule. We’re busy with work. We’re busy with our social life. We’re busy with family. There seems to be very little time for any of the other important things in life, such as porn. Well, if you are feeling a little glum about not being able to watch porn at work, which would seem like an obvious time to get some quality wanking in, you should pack your bags and moved to Spain!

The Supreme Court in Spain has decided that it’s completely acceptable to watch porn at work. Okay, maybe they didn’t say it was completely acceptable, but they sure said you shouldn’t get fired for. It’s not that they think it’s a human right that needs to be protected. It’s just that there seems to be no law on the books to deal with using the Internet while at work for personal needs. A company fired an employee for composing personal e-mails while at work and watching adult material. Two previous courts had ruled in favor of the company. As is the case with life, it seems he had to go all the way in order to get any pleasure out of the ordeal. If you happen to be sitting in a cubicle in Spain and are looking for ways to take advantage of this new ruling, feel free to surf on over to one of the biggest and certainly the best porn review sites on the net: RabbitsReviews.com. They’re waiting!

NicStics: Relatively Safe, Very Uncool Cigarettes

Posted by John A. Facade on 12 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Gadgets

nicstics.jpg Are safe cigarettes an oxymoron? Apparently not, if the people behind the NicStic are to be believed. It’s a battery-powered cigarette that vaporizes tobacco rather than burning it (much like the Volcano), delivering sweet, sweet nicotine without any tar or any of that other bad stuff. It seems like a great way to help someone ease into quitting, although I can’t really see it replacing the real thing. Real cigarettes just make you look so cool. Remember that, kids.

This Toilet Seat May Just Save Your Marriage

Posted by John A. Facade on 10 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Gadgets, Guy Stuff

Toilet Gadgets? Oooh yeeaaaa…

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Here’s the Brondell Breeza, a deodorizing toilet seat that’s available in two different models. The Basic Breeza is battery operated and just keeps that stench down to a manageable level, while the Breeza Warm (pictured above) plugs into the wall and actually has a heated seat for those of you who live in the cold (silly people).

Both have that delightful gentle closing seat and lid that can help you at least keep some of those obnoxious bathroom noises to a minimum. Both models have an automatic quiet fan that draws odors into a replaceable activated carbon filter, and then there’s some sort of fragrance that you can place into the works as well. The Breeza battery operated seat can be installed in just 15 minutes according to the company; of course the heated seat’s installation might be more complicated if you don’t have an outlet nearby.

Army of Two…This Looks AWESOME!

Posted by John A. Facade on 05 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Video Games

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Need another game to put on your radar? Well, if Army of Two isn’t already there, then it’s about time you started paying attention. Forget the fact that my favorite publisher EA is involved and just look at this thing. It’s friggin’ impressive.

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Ever since I saw it at last year’s E3, I’ve been dying to hear and see more of it in action. This latest vid is just one more example of why next-gen gaming is something to really be excited about — at least I am.

Biker Chick Boobs

Posted by John A. Facade on 04 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Porn

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Most women like the bad boys. Sure, the evolved woman says that she wants a sensitive, caring and gentle man. However, the female of the species, just like the males, are ruled by primitive instincts. They want a dominant buck when it comes time to fuck. Maybe, that same animal desire explains why some dudes, me included, appreciate nasty chicks, as you see on Bike Babes.

I’ll never be a motorcycle-riding stud, like the site’s main star, Hunter. We all know putting a dweeb like me on a hog wouldn’t turn me into a mean, lean biker man. I’d just seem like a geek on wheels. Therefore, I to live vicariously through this dangerous-looking fellow as he goes on the prowl for pussy, picking up sluts as cruises the bad side of town on his badass Harley.

The ladies are the trashy sort. It’s all bad bleach job blondes, brunettes with tattoos and piercings, bitches in shades wearing bandanas. They’re the cheap tarts you’d expect to see in a trailer park. Nothing is sexier than is a babe pulled fresh from the tin can she’s living in, down in the hood precariously placed in the middle of some tornado alley somewhere.

If you think such reality-based smut exists only in the make-believe-world of porn, think twice. There are real harlots on Harleys of the Kiwi-variety, down in New Zealand, exuding massive amounts of sex appeal with a zeal for riding topless, no less. According to Ian Stewart, reporting on the website Stuff.co.nz (03/02/07), a parade of motorbikes with bare-breasted babes filled the streets of Christchurch.

The event promoted the opening of the Erotica Lifestyles Expo down at the Christchurch Convention Centre. Nine sets of tits circled through the inner city, accompanied by four greased up musclemen, on Harley Davidson bikes. The watching crowd’s response varied, but mostly men were attracted to the action.

Mr. Stewart found a few women responded negatively, while the males appreciated the scene. One dude named, Kliff Tappin proclaimed, “People say sex and perversion are wrong but look at it - when it’s free to the public, half the city comes out.”

Meanwhile, the judgment call made by Ms. Roberta Hannah and an anonymous gal pal lunching at an outside cafe along the route, was considerably less supportive, “Overrated, totally and utterly tacky. I can think of better things to do with my lunch hour.”

I hate to sound cynical, but poor Roberta seems to think it’s better to use her lunchtime to whine about sour grapes. I only wish that my dinnertime today was going to come with such a hot, free, live show, instead of just, its probable cold backdrop of mounds of snow.

Sybian Sex Machines

Posted by John A. Facade on 22 Feb 2007 | Tagged as: Gadgets, Porn

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My mind works in mysterious ways. Okay, more often than not, there’s less mystery and more just filthy dirt clogging up the windmills of my mind. Yesterday, for example, I decided to buy an electric shaver and of course, in no time flat, I was thinking of vibrators and when that happens, I often drift to visions of chicks riding away in Sybian fantasies.

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What made me think of sybian sex machines?? The mere mention of which has set that song by The Miracles off in my head, Love Machine, sex machine, tomato, potato. No worries, I’ll forego the deep philosophical discussion of why love could be synonymous with sex. After all, how many tangents should it take to explain my tangent-prone thinking?

I went to this store to buy my electric razor that has all kinds of electrical gadgets and small appliances. Needless to say, across the display case where I was eyeing a nifty futuristic shaving device, I noticed a wall with all kinds of vibrating massagers.

In the old days, before sex shops were de rigueur, I know that women used to be able to buy various wand-shaped massage devices for so-called “personal use” with the explanation that they’re phallic design allowed it to stimulate even those hard-to-reach places as the elongated form allowed it to be conveniently used from all sorts of angles.

I must admit that one of my earliest sexual experiences involved a bright orange “personal massager” that resembled an electric beater with various attachments. My favorite one somewhat resembled an egg cup and was quite frankly ideal as a “massage head” in the most literal sense.

Anyway, even though I’m a dude, I remember the orgasm that I got from vibration as stimulation was totally different from the usual kind. There’s a sort of intensity that is hard to describe. Your whole body really does seem to be humming. You sort of shake and quake all over.

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Anyway, just listen to some of these girls using a Sybian and you’ll see what I mean. Believe me, it’s one time you can be sure that these horny females aren’t faking it!

I’m In Love With A Stripper?

Posted by John A. Facade on 19 Feb 2007 | Tagged as: Porn

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I have a friend who runs a pole dancing studio. Who would have thought? I guess there is a minor craze at the moment for women who want to learn to dance like a stripper. Now I say stripper only because I have no idea where else this talent might come in handy. I suppose if you take the subway, you could always strut your stuff if a car is half-empty. They always have poles there, although those are mostly used so you can keep yourself from falling. Still, I think there are a whole bunch of unsuspecting men whose wives toddle off during the day for pole-dancing lessons. Then, one day Mr. Smith arrives home late from work, only to find his wife dressed in her underwear and doing tricks around the bedpost. “My gawd,� he exclaims, “I’m in love with a stripper!�

Would you marry a stripper? I have dated my fair share over the years. I don’t know that I’ve ever fallen in love with one. In a lot of ways, it’s the nature of the business. Adult entertainment can be so cheesy. The mystique gets shattered pretty quickly. I have to take my hat off to some of the pole routines I have seen, but I have never caught myself thinking, ‘Damn, I hope my wife can do that.’ Now I just have stripper friends. On the odd occasion, one gets too close, and suddenly the walls have to come up. I love hot women, and dancers certainly fall into that category. I just never want to be one of those guys who says he’s fallen for a peeler. I get enough smoking hot babes emailing me for no strings attached trysts. The last thing I need is to worry is one springing at me from the top of my canopy bed in the middle of the night!

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