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Life in Panama - No suit, no shoes, no problem…

Posted by admin on 21 Aug 2007 | Tagged as: Guy Stuff

I remember reading articles in various men’s magazines about escaping the 9 - 5 grind, trading in the suit and tie for shorts and sandals and doing something that you love for a living. I remember reading them and yearning for it, but not knowing how to do it. As I made that my #1 priority in life and started adjusting, bit by bit to eventually getting there and finally, getting here…you have absolutely no idea how amazing it is.

I haven’t touched a dish, cleaned the house or done laundry in two years. Why would I? My maid lives in the maid’s quarters of my 3000 sq. ft. penthouse condo ($1200 /month) and she costs $200 /month and is bi-lingual. She cooks amazingly well and is a real sweetheart.

I only use alarms to wake me up for flights to various play or vacation destinations in Central, South America or the Caribbean and it’s about 85 every day here in Panama. I surf, dive, kite surf, hike, camp and fish like crazy.

My quality of life is amazingly high and my cost of living is amazingly low. Dinner last night for my gorgeous Colombiana date and myself at a 4 star Italian restaurant with appetizers, awesome steak and pasta entrees, two bottles of wine and dessert and coffees was $74.

The Panama real estate market is exploding, while the US, Canadian, Asian and European markets are imploding. Panama City looks and feels like Miami (without the stress, crime and attitude) and is only getting more and more amazing every day as more expats move here and there’s just more and more to do. There are huge tax advantages to Panama corporations and foundations, as well as living in Panama instead of in the US or Canada.

Guys…WAKE UP! You’re dying minute by minute in that cubicle. All the 401ks, IRAs, quotas, pension plans and stock options in the world aren’t going to make up for you dying at 40 of heart disease while you shit blood because of your ulcer fretting over the mortgage, the kids and whether or not your business card is nicer than Jones’. Think about the movies “Fight Club” and “Office Space”. If you don’t get it after thinking about those and comparing your life to mine, you won’t get it and should stay right where you are.

On the other hand, if you DO get it and you want to move down here to paradise (also known as Panama), there are ways to do it. It’s going to take some guts and some improvisation. You’ve got to have a portable skill or be independently wealthy. Life down here (and anywhere for that matter) is cheap, but not free.

I work on the Internet (as you might have noticed), so living anywhere is easy. But if you can write for a living, sell real estate, manage resorts, hotels or restaurants or have construction skills, you’ve got a shot at making a great living here too. I know a girl who’s selling insurance in Panama and is doing very, very well. Car insurance, health insurance, life insurance, title and mortgage insurance and other types of insurance in Panama are so much cheaper than in the states, it makes a great market for a hot, English speaking Panamanian to help out the gringos when they get down here.

Gents, forget the headaches of modern living in the US and Canada. Tell your boss to take a hike, sell all that shit you don’t need and move down here. It’s a boomtown, the wild west and there’s gold in them thar hills. Take a chance, get a life and hope to see you here.

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Women’s Sex Tourism?

Posted by admin on 16 Aug 2007 | Tagged as: Guy Stuff

Of course, sex travel or sex tourism, as it’s known in a lot of places is on the rise. Jumping a plane to get a nut or three is common these days. But did you know that women do it too?

I found this article on EscapeArtist, one of my favorite sites. You won’t believe this, but apparently more and more women are traveling to find bigger cocks and guys who pay more attention to them. -

womenssextourism

Women’s sex tourism is especially popular nowadays. Sources state that about 600,000 women come to the countries of the Caribbean Basin every year in search of men’s attention and love.

Women’s and men’s sex tourism are two absolutely different phenomena. Women do not go to bars and sex shows to find new partners; they do not make sex tours as such infrequent events are organized basically for men.

Researchers who studied the phenomenon of sex tourism among women at Caribbean resorts say that this type of a vacation is typical of middle age women either lonely or unhappy about their family life.

While men choose Asia for their sex tourism, women go to Southern Europe (Italy, Greece, Turkey, Croatia and Spain), to the Caribbean Basin (Jamaica, Barbados and the Dominican Republic), Genoa and Kenya in Africa, Bali, Indonesia and Phuket in Thailand to enjoy sex tourism. Nepal, Morocco, Fiji, Ecuador and Costa-Rica are less popular. Thailand, the Dominican Republic and Cuba are the countries that suit for sex tourism of both sexes, male and female.

Seventeen percent of the Jamaican population lives below the poverty line; tourism and farming are the only sources of income there. The airport of Montego Bay is crowded with young men when flights from Canada or London arrive. They come there to meet “milk bottles who must be immediately filled up�?. This is how they call foreign women with white skin. Locals say that middle age women come to the place in search of “a big bamboo�? as the opinion of the sexual power of swarthy men is widely spread all over the world.

Lesbian tourism is just emerging. However, there are several places where women can enjoy it: Mytilini in Greece, Bangkok and Pattaya in Thailand and Bali.

Sex tourism is popular in the third world countries, and the services are quite affordable there. Jamaica travel experts say that the tariffs are meant for the middle class: $30 per an hour and up to $150 for one night. In addition to the tariff, gigolos would love to receive money, watches, shirts and cigarette lighters as presents. Women from the Canadian capital Ottawa are known as the most generous presenters.

Women who enjoy sex tourism are given various names in different countries where they go: Shirley Valentines in Britain, Longtails – in the Bermudas, yellow cabs – in Japan, milk bottles (blondes) and stellas (brunettes) – in Jamaica. In Barbados, female sex tourists are said to be having “the Canadian secretary syndrome�?.

Men serving female sex tourists also have their names in different countries: kamakia (harpoon for fishing) – in Greece, galebovi (seagull) – in Croatia, sharks – in Costa-Rica, Kuta Cowboys and pemburu-bule (hunters for whites) – in Bali, Marlboro men – in Jordan, bomsas or bumsters – in Gambia, sanky pankies – in the Dominican Republic, grinda hunter – in Ecuador, brichero – in Peru. Men of the Dominican Republic enjoy the reputation of the most professional gigolos.

For many years it has been considered that sex tourism suited men only. But as it turned out, middle age women who are not that fabulous as film stars but have quite enough money desire to have sex and enjoyment during vacations to take a rest from their husbands, children and housekeeping.

Women’s sex tourism was first mentioned in the middle of the 19th century in the USA and Turkey. Americans liked to visit North American Indians and European women visited Turks to enjoy sex far from home. There were no sex travels just during the Depression, and the pause lasted until the 1960s. Just few brave women from England, France, Czechoslovakia and the USA went to India, Nepal and Thailand probably to enjoy sex with locals.

Female sex tourism got a new spur together with the second wave of feminism and when tourism began to speedily develop in the 1960s. Canadian women were the first to travel in search of sexual adventures more actively. It is thanks to Canadian women that the Caribbean Islands and hot boys from Jamaica and Barbados grew incredibly popular. In the 1990s, female tourists from Japan and Taiwan joined them and went to the beaches of Bali and Phuket.

Several years ago, two female sociologists from the USA questioned 240 women spending their vacations in Negril and at two similar resorts in the Dominican Republic. They found out that about one third of them had sexual contacts with local young men during their vacations. At that, sixty percent of them agreed that probably the young men made love to them just to get money. All the respondents said they did not pay for the sexual services that men provided during their vacations at resorts. But many of the women explained that they paid money for sex as they treated it as economic aid to the resort staff or even the local economy.

Some of the questioned women said they had started sex tourism by chance but loved to enjoy it regularly. Others say they love sex tourism not merely because of sex but rather because of the care and attention that local men give them. These women are even ready to pay for this type of temporary love.

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A New Paris Sex Tape? …from JAIL?

Posted by admin on 30 Jul 2007 | Tagged as: Porn, Guy Stuff

So, that naughty little rich girl, Paris was apparently getting her lesbian kicks while she was in jail. This site opened today with an EXCLUSIVE, 22 minute video of Paris having sex in jail with another inmate.

Could it be that the “stupid, spoiled whore” (as South Park dubbed her) really got her kicks while in holding?

Doesn’t look sexy to me?

I heard that Paris was alone in her cell, with no contact with other inmates. But this is a picture of the cell Paris was supposedly in.

I don’t know about you, but the first tape was kinda hot when she was alone and other than that, pretty disappointing. I don’t like dicks in my porn. This girl on girl stuff with Paris in a jail cell? Oh ya baby…I’m all over that.

See y’all in about a half hour.

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Escorts 2.0

Posted by admin on 15 Jul 2007 | Tagged as: Guy Stuff

Female escorts are so common online and off these days that I’d be amazed if you didn’t know about them yet. But most of the guys I’ve asked about them in the last couple weeks either didn’t know they exist or didn’t know much more than locker room rumors that were mostly wrong. So I figured I’d spread the word a bit. Maybe you’ve seen enjoyed 1 or 2 (at a time) or 39 in the last month on those “off” nights when a trip to the local ho hole didn’t bring home some pink taco.

So here’s the inside scoop from a buddy of mine who knows more about escorts than anyone I’ve ever met. This is a guy who paid for his first escort at 13, drove escorts at 18, opened an escort agency at 22 and owns the world’s largest escort community. If that’s not pimp cred, I don’t know what is.

An “Escort” is a woman who will spend time with you and/or perform various levels of sexual or other intimate (massage, dancing, skin on skin rubbing, BDSM, dominatrix, etc.) services for money.

There are escorts who will only do dinners, take vacations or just chat with you and there are full on porn star escorts (PSE), girl friend experience escorts (GFE) and every shade of escort in between. Escorts appeal to rock stars, wealthy guys, poor guys, perfectly normal guys who get laid all the time, fat guys, skinny guys, shy guys, quiet guys, loud guys, drunks, CEOs and janitors, elderly guys, women, couples, psychological conditions (insecurities, obsessions, performance anxiety), physical infirmities (amputees, the handicapped, the deformed, dwarfs and midgets, your brightest or darkest desires and most perverted fetishes and fantasies. They are the ultimate appetizer, main course and dessert. Oh ya, and they’re NOT your wife, girlfriend or rosy palm and her five sisters.

So, let’s say you live in Atlanta. You’re relaxing at your condo in Atlantic Station, it’s just another night, you’re alone and you’re considering beating one out. But why? Just head over to Beautiful Companion Escorts or to XXXcorts or to See An Escort or Swinger Escorts or even Xotica Escorts. These are all sites with direct access to the largest escort directory in the world. There’s over 10,000 escorts worldwide and over 100,000 escort reviews. In Atlanta, there’s over 400 escorts waiting for your call. Pay $1.95 to join and get access to all of the escort’s contact information in Atlanta or virtually any other major city in the world AND you get access to all of the escort reviews too.

Escort reviews? Oh ya, let’s go over those. Ever read consumer reports? Escort reviews are the same thing. If you’re going to spend your hard earned money on some female companionship, make sure you’re getting what you’re paying for. Prices vary wildly from city to city, incall, outcall and they’re largely based on services provided, the quality of the provider and your ability to bargain (or read escort reviews). That’s right, escort reviews not only tell you what she’ll do, they’ll also tell you for how much and how long. If that’s not worth the price of admission, I don’t know what is.

Use your common sense with the police and make sure not to get busted for saying anything stupid. It’s perfectly acceptable to say “I’d like to see you for an hour, what’s your rate?”. It’s not acceptable to say, “I want to fuck, what are you going to charge me for having sex with you?” It’s pretty rare that cops run stings on guys, but it does happen. You’ve gotta say something stupid like that to have any problems. You can learn all that you need to about how to have a blast in your home town and around the world in the member’s forums on this escort site.

Ignore the prudes, they love to crucify escorts and other ladies throughout history. Mary Magdalene got a bad rap.

Don’t be stupid, like with any chick, ALWAYS wear a rubber (if you were to have sex, that is).

So the long and short of it is that all you’ve got to do is pick up the phone or drop an email and you could be enjoying the company of a beautiful girl in about a half hour. No more beating off at webcam girls for $4.99 /minute or watching the same ‘ol porn over and over on your computer or TV. No more of the same ‘ol pussy you’ve been fucking for the last 10 years (or more) or having to keep hiding what you’ve always wanted. Now you can just go on out and find her, she’s waiting, willing and happy to take cash or in most cases, credit cards.

Happy hunting!

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My Penis says, “Thank You Daddy.”

Posted by admin on 18 May 2007 | Tagged as: Gadgets, Porn, Guy Stuff

In one of the most uncomfortable conversations of my life, a friend of mine named Paul told me that he’d rather fuck his “Fleshlight” than a real, wet, warm, sweet, succulent vagina attached to a real woman. I realize that it’s unfortunate that pussies come attached to women, but I’d accepted it as a necessary evil in life. I figured that Paul’s confession must’ve come from the effects of his 4th Jager shot combined with his 4th or 5th Johnny Blue on the rocks and that he must be nuts. Since I had absolutely no idea what a fleshlight was and was absolutely intrigued by anything, that any man, even in his absurdly inebriated state would prefer over a real woman…I just had to know more.

After a little time at Fleshlight.com, I had to order one and see whether “pocket pussies”, “pinch hitters” or in their vernacular, male sex toys had really come this far. Two days later the UPS guy rang my doorbell with a smile and a discrete brown package from “Interactive Life Forms”. He probably thought it was some cool AI thing as he usually delivers nothing to my door except gadgets, computer stuff, toys, guns, etc. If only he’d known how fast I was going to tear that package open, lube it up and stick my dick in it. (How many times do you get to type that in your life?)

About twenty sweaty minutes later, I lay back on my perfectly clean bed (no muss, no fuss) and in complete agreement with my friend Paul, swore off women forever. Now I can save my money, play more, travel more, even work more and fuck without cuddling, chick flicks and those embarassing “sorry about the VD” or “another trip to the abortion clinic” headaches.

Ok, ok…so I can’t really swear women off completely. There are exceptions to the altogether too realistic rule, but this thing really will save me a lot of unsatisfied nights and some carpal tunnel. Check it out -

The outside, when it’s closed, looks like an industrial flashlight (hence “Fleshlight”). Cute eh? It’s heavy duty plastic and the end screws on tight so that you could leave this on your kitchen counter or bedside and nobody would ever ask what it is.
When you order, you start with the options of what you want it to look like.

Then you decide which one of the options you want for what’s on the inside (what you feel)

They even have a fleshlight for guys who are worried about shooting too soon and want to build up some stamina with “practice”. You gotta see “Legends Gym”

I went with the basic “Lady” with the “Wonder Wave” insides and gents, I gotta tell you…wow. This thing not only is a hell of a lot of fun to play with, the last few times I was up to bat with the real thing, I’ve been doing a lot more playing with her than her with me.

Get yourself a fleshlight and enjoy it. But remember, no matter how drunk you get, don’t tell your buddies about it. It’s a good thing Paul doesn’t know about this blog of mine, otherwise everybody would be call me “pocket pussy” too.

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A Cop Overdosed on Weed?

Posted by admin on 14 May 2007 | Tagged as: Guy Stuff

Can you overdose on weed? Is that actually possible? Well, sort of. Apparently this cop and his wife thought they had, well…died after eating what must’ve been one hell of a strong batch of brownies and called 911 for help.

The first time I ever smoked weed, my girlfriend (at the time) and my friend Paul decided that they’d introduce me to smoking in the grand tradition of losing your virginity by being the available hole at a gang bang. I bought a very nice surgical glass bong almost 2 feet tall. There was a long shaft with plenty of room for ice to cool the smoke down, lots of water in the bottom for filtering and a big bowl for the best weed I could find in Atlanta. Well, it’s Atlanta..it was really, really good organic, hydroponic ninja weed with blue and orange hairs and what can be described as a soul crushing high when you smoke too much of it.

I followed their instructions to the letter:

1. Pack the bowl with ground, high quality weed.
2. Light the lighter and put it just above the bowl while drawing on the shaft of the bong to pull the flame into the bowl and light the full bowl.
3. Once you’ve gathered a good amount of smoke in the bong shaft, slip the bowl up an inch or two and clear the chamber.
4. Hold the smoke as long as you can, then exhale it.
5. Repeat and…repeat.
6. Once the bowl is ashed, re-pack the bowl and…repeat.

I got one hit into the second bowl before the world become a very un-friendly, un-happy place. While sitting motionless on my comfortable, black leather couch…I felt like I was floating in a world of roller coasters and porcupines. Nothing made sense, up was down and I ended up dry heaving in my bathroom sink while suddenly needing to get very naked and run haphazardly through my 2 floor condo searching for my penis and screaming “SEVENTEEN” for hours on end. It was about 8 hours before things started to return to normal regardless of the milk, sugar, showers, sleep, sex, massages and everything else my now sorry companions tried to do to bring me back. That’s as close as “over dosing” on weed as I’ve ever experienced and about as close as I’ve ever even heard of.

I don’t buy that you can overdose on weed, I think you’d pass out first. But you can smoke yourself into oblivion if you’re uninformed or just plain stupid. A word to the wise, know your limits, know what you’re smoking (quality means everything) and always know that you can smoke more if you haven’t gotten to your desired level of highness. BUT you can’t un-smoke that Bob Marley hit you wanted to take to be cool in front of your weed buddies. Regardless, the video’s hysterical, Enjoy.

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Finally, Somebody’s Using MySpace Right!

Posted by John A. Facade on 22 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Porn, Guy Stuff

Somebody should give these guys a medal. I’ve always thought that MySpace and the rest of the “social networking” sites were just excuses to waste time and make life altogether too easy for stalkers. But these guys got it right. Not only are they having a blast fucking every girl they can find on the site, now they’re also amateur pornographers. Not too shabby, eh?

With a little study and practice, I think that just about any guy could do this. Look at ‘em, they’re nothing special. But look at the treasure trove of young hotties they’re pulling? I’m really wondering about this marriage thing all of a sudden. Maybe I should just move back into a bachelor pad and spend my days and nights tracking down cooze on MySpace and convincing them to get naked for my new Sony HDR-FX1 video camera?

“Excuse me ma’am, I need to inspect this.”

“Yes, they’re quite nice. But are you lactating?”

They call themselves MySpace Hunters and they’re here to rescue your penis from being flaccid and unused. ~Cue the superhero music.~ Make sure to click “About�? and read the story of these guys and how they got started. It’s hysterical how stuff like this gets going.

Excuse me for now, I’m off to troll MySpace for girls nearby, then the camera store for some good lights, followed by a quick stop at the adult store for a BIG box of rubbers and some lube. God Bless The Internet.

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Rapex Anti-Rape Gadget Almost Ready

Posted by John A. Facade on 21 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Gadgets, Guy Stuff

Inventor Sonnet Ehlers claims his invention, “Rapex” is the solution to rape. How does it work? Essentially, it’s a female condom with a locking bear trap type device inside. It’s actually a pubic hair away from being released now.

Hear that? That’s the sound of terrifying justice. Feel that? Well, no means no, you monosyllabic bastard.

P.S. If only this woman had one of these, she wouldn’t have endured this horrible experience. Ya, I know the whole thing seems crazy, but so does what she went through at the hands of that animal. I hope they find him and turn 19 hours into 19 years of non-stop torture and rape for him to enjoy the receiving end of.

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Never be Late Again! World’s Fastest Recharging Shaver

Posted by John A. Facade on 20 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Gadgets, Guy Stuff

My razor always seems to run out of juice just when I need to run somewhere. With Sanyo’s “world’s fastest recharging shaver,” which gives you a week of shaving in only nine minutes (or one minute if you’re just going for that single shave), you’ll also be able to avoid being accused of hogging the bathroom socket when your wife needs to do whatever she does in the bathroom every morning. – Now it is possible to charge fully in just nine minutes!

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Trump Lashes Out At Porn Surfing

Posted by John A. Facade on 19 Mar 2007 | Tagged as: Porn, Guy Stuff

The Donald is on the warpath and he has his sights set on, among other things, porn! In his most recent blog, the New York megalomaniac with bad hair (I’ve actually had the pleasure of seeing it first hand at a press conference and it looks way worse in person than on TV) points his finger at employees who use company time to surf the web, check out porn, watch videos and instant message. Are you one of these?

Trump makes a good case, mind you. He points to a survey that says half the people would rather give up their morning coffee than give up surfing at work. It’s a valid point he’s making, right? You’re getting paid to be at work. Any time spent doing anything else is, essentially, stealing from the company. It doesn’t matter that you’re now doing the same tasks you did before in half the time because of computer technology. Work faster. Work harder. Give your soul. Do this and, like Trump says, you may just get to keep your job.

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Guy Stuff

Life in Panama - No suit, no shoes, no problem…

Women’s Sex Tourism?

A New Paris Sex Tape? …from JAIL?

Escorts 2.0

My Penis says, “Thank You Daddy.”

A Cop Overdosed on Weed?

Finally, Somebody’s Using MySpace Right!

Rapex Anti-Rape Gadget Almost Ready

Never be Late Again! World’s Fastest Recharging Shaver

Trump Lashes Out At Porn Surfing

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