Somebody should give these guys a medal. I’ve always thought that MySpace and the rest of the “social networking” sites were just excuses to waste time and make life altogether too easy for stalkers. But these guys got it right. Not only are they having a blast fucking every girl they can find on the site, now they’re also amateur pornographers. Not too shabby, eh?

With a little study and practice, I think that just about any guy could do this. Look at ‘em, they’re nothing special. But look at the treasure trove of young hotties they’re pulling? I’m really wondering about this marriage thing all of a sudden. Maybe I should just move back into a bachelor pad and spend my days and nights tracking down cooze on MySpace and convincing them to get naked for my new Sony HDR-FX1 video camera?

“Excuse me ma’am, I need to inspect this.”

“Yes, they’re quite nice. But are you lactating?”

They call themselves MySpace Hunters and they’re here to rescue your penis from being flaccid and unused. ~Cue the superhero music.~ Make sure to click “About� and read the story of these guys and how they got started. It’s hysterical how stuff like this gets going.

Excuse me for now, I’m off to troll MySpace for girls nearby, then the camera store for some good lights, followed by a quick stop at the adult store for a BIG box of rubbers and some lube. God Bless The Internet.

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Popular Science does what they do best in their latest “How it Works” by tearing apart the Nintendo Wii and its controller to show you the guts and explain how they work.

The piece includes some nifty animated images, a gallery of a Wii torn-down, and a quick explainer on the physics of the Wii remote’s accelerometer technology.

How it Works

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Inventor Sonnet Ehlers claims his invention, “Rapex” is the solution to rape. How does it work? Essentially, it’s a female condom with a locking bear trap type device inside. It’s actually a pubic hair away from being released now.

Hear that? That’s the sound of terrifying justice. Feel that? Well, no means no, you monosyllabic bastard.

P.S. If only this woman had one of these, she wouldn’t have endured this horrible experience. Ya, I know the whole thing seems crazy, but so does what she went through at the hands of that animal. I hope they find him and turn 19 hours into 19 years of non-stop torture and rape for him to enjoy the receiving end of.

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My razor always seems to run out of juice just when I need to run somewhere. With Sanyo’s “world’s fastest recharging shaver,” which gives you a week of shaving in only nine minutes (or one minute if you’re just going for that single shave), you’ll also be able to avoid being accused of hogging the bathroom socket when your wife needs to do whatever she does in the bathroom every morning. – Now it is possible to charge fully in just nine minutes!

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The Donald is on the warpath and he has his sights set on, among other things, porn! In his most recent blog, the New York megalomaniac with bad hair (I’ve actually had the pleasure of seeing it first hand at a press conference and it looks way worse in person than on TV) points his finger at employees who use company time to surf the web, check out porn, watch videos and instant message. Are you one of these?

Trump makes a good case, mind you. He points to a survey that says half the people would rather give up their morning coffee than give up surfing at work. It’s a valid point he’s making, right? You’re getting paid to be at work. Any time spent doing anything else is, essentially, stealing from the company. It doesn’t matter that you’re now doing the same tasks you did before in half the time because of computer technology. Work faster. Work harder. Give your soul. Do this and, like Trump says, you may just get to keep your job.

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My friends are talking about the stunning 2.35:1 video format and it reminded me of this cool projector screen we haven’t covered before. It’s the Epson’s Duet, and instead of a vertical scrolling screen, it unfolds side to side, expanding from a 4:3 ratio’d 65-inch screen to a 16:9 screen that measures 80-inches from corner to corner. Neat. It also happens to work as a wall mounted solution. I haven’t had any first hand experience with this screen yet — I don’t mind using a white wall — but I hear it’s sweet. The only problem is that without a rigid top frame, the projector can sag in the middle. You know, like a volleyball net after one too many sloppy spikes. At $199, I can live with that.

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It seems like every couple of weeks we get some news byte that fuels the Halo 3 anticipation fire. Well today, that news item is the pricing for the Standard, Limited, and Legendary editions of the game:

Legendary Edition — $129.99

• Comes packaged in a collectible Spartan helmet case
• Bonus disk one: HD “making of Halo 3” documentary, various behind-the-scenes videos, and an audio-video calibration tool
• Bonus disk two: remastered cinematics from the first two Halo games with developer commentary and content from Red vs. Blue and This Spartan Life
• Illuminating collection of original storyboard art

Limited Edition — $69.99

• Comes packaged in a metal case
• Bonus disk one (same one as the bonus disk from the Legendary Edition)
• Halo fiction and art book

Standard Edition — $59.99

• Comes packaged in a regular Xbox 360 game case with Halo 3 inside

If you happen to be one of the cheap bastards that buy the Standard Edition, you simply will not be able to sit with us at lunch.

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Bad news for the breeders among us: There are studies out there that point towards cell phones as a new cause of infertility and impaired sperm. A new report by Cleveland Clinic researchers adds to the evidence and has some bad news for us gadget junkies:

“Those men who used a cell phone for more than 4 hours per day had the biggest decrease in properties in sperm especially the count, quality, and quantity of the sperm. They are significantly impaired in these men.”

Time to line your pockets with lead or spring for a belt clip for your gadgets. We can’t let the lesser of the species be the only ones to reproduce.

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North American society works in wondrous ways. It seems we all love to keep a busy schedule. We’re busy with work. We’re busy with our social life. We’re busy with family. There seems to be very little time for any of the other important things in life, such as porn. Well, if you are feeling a little glum about not being able to watch porn at work, which would seem like an obvious time to get some quality wanking in, you should pack your bags and moved to Spain!

The Supreme Court in Spain has decided that it’s completely acceptable to watch porn at work. Okay, maybe they didn’t say it was completely acceptable, but they sure said you shouldn’t get fired for. It’s not that they think it’s a human right that needs to be protected. It’s just that there seems to be no law on the books to deal with using the Internet while at work for personal needs. A company fired an employee for composing personal e-mails while at work and watching adult material. Two previous courts had ruled in favor of the company. As is the case with life, it seems he had to go all the way in order to get any pleasure out of the ordeal. If you happen to be sitting in a cubicle in Spain and are looking for ways to take advantage of this new ruling, feel free to surf on over to one of the biggest and certainly the best porn review sites on the net: RabbitsReviews.com. They’re waiting!

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Are safe cigarettes an oxymoron? Apparently not, if the people behind the NicStic are to be believed. It’s a battery-powered cigarette that vaporizes tobacco rather than burning it (much like the Volcano), delivering sweet, sweet nicotine without any tar or any of that other bad stuff. It seems like a great way to help someone ease into quitting, although I can’t really see it replacing the real thing. Real cigarettes just make you look so cool. Remember that, kids.

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